Seeking Clarity
I feel like that is the theme of my life right now. I am searching for clarity in so many different aspects if my life. Where should I apply for a job next year? Not just what schools should I apply to, but what town should I apply in? Do I want to stay in New Hanover County? Should I pursue Pender County? Am I even going to stay in Wilmington? Or am I going to move to Charlotte? Can I even bring myself to leave Wilmington yet? Do I really want to move somewhere and start all over again? Do I really want to leave my best friends? I feel like a lot has changed in my life over the past year and a half and I have just gotten settled into a good place. A place that I would like to stay for a while. But does moving locations mean that I can't still be in that "place"? I mean, when I ask myself what is at the center of this settled place, it is God and friends. And when I really think about it, God will be with me wherever I go and the friends I am closest to now, will probably be some of my best friends for the rest of my life. So what is holding me here in Wilmington? My church. The fact that Wilmington is comfortable and feels like home. Oh and the fact that I hate change. BUT really the two things that make this town feel so comfortable and homey are my church and my friends, and I am again reminded that these are the friends I'll keep forever, and no, there isn't another PC3 out there, but who's to say that I can't find another church in another town and get involved and be just as happy? Ugh, so much to think about, and I feel like that isn't even the tip of the iceburg. How am I supposed to tell the difference between Mary Clyde's selfish desires and the desires that the Lord is giving me? That is where the need for clarity comes in. I'm praying for a month about moving to Charlotte, and then I'll see where I stand... I'll either know what God is calling me to do, or I'll keep praying about it.
Also, I never had to use concealer under my eyes until now. Recently I have taken to scrubbing under my eyes with eye make-up remover, after I wash my face, only to remember: That isn't smudged eye make-up I'm trying to scrub away. It's the dark circles that have taken up residence under my eyes. Even concealer doesn't completely get rid of them. 3 more days. 3 more days. 3 more days. If I repeat that over and over and click my heels together will it skip to Friday afternoon?? Doubt it.
Also, I never had to use concealer under my eyes until now. Recently I have taken to scrubbing under my eyes with eye make-up remover, after I wash my face, only to remember: That isn't smudged eye make-up I'm trying to scrub away. It's the dark circles that have taken up residence under my eyes. Even concealer doesn't completely get rid of them. 3 more days. 3 more days. 3 more days. If I repeat that over and over and click my heels together will it skip to Friday afternoon?? Doubt it.
