I'm single. It's ok.
Where do I even begin with this one?? How about some facts:
Fact #1 - I have never kissed a boy.
Fact #2 - I am ok with fact #1.
Fact #3 - I have never had a real boyfriend.
Fact #4 - I've never been officially asked out on a date. (I've been on hangouts that turned out to be dates - in my book, at least - but no one's ever said, "Hey, let me take you out to dinner MC.")
Fact #5 - I'm 28.
Fact #6 - Facts 1 through 5 don't automatically put me in the desperation category.
2 stories:
There was a girl that we were all friends with in Wilmington that we categorized as being "on the hunt". Sweet, sweet girl, but desperate for a man in her life. Everything she did revolved around finding a husband, preparing for a husband, etc. She is now happily married (you go girl!) and no longer needs to be on the hunt. (option 1)
There was a girl that worked at the school I teach at before I moved there who was "older" (not really that much older than I am now) and single. People say that everyone thought she was a lesbian because she was single and older. She's also now happily married - to a man. (option 2)
I tell you these stories because I sometimes wonder if people think one (or both) of these things about me. I would like to think that option 2 isn't discussed by people that know me well, because I often talk about guys that I think are good looking. I joke about multiple "so-and-so's" being my future husband. I HOPE that people don't think I'm option 2 just because I'm 28 and not dating anyone. If someone was interested, I might be as well! No one has shown any interest. That's not a plea for pity.
That being said, let's talk about option 1. As I said, I'm 28 and not dating anyone. This statement does NOT make me on the hunt. I am not begging my friends to set me up with people, and I don't secretly try to envision a future together with every guy I meet. Yes, there are guys that I would totally date if they asked, and I have sort of jokingly said to mutual friends, "Hook a sista up!" but that's not quite the same. I feel like I don't have a whole lot of argument to back up my "I'm not on the hunt" statement than to just say it, and hope you believe me.
This post is not going quite how I had it planned out, but whatever. The point is that every time I meet, say hey to, or even look at a guy who's single, that doesn't mean I'm automatically interested. I am not the girl who's going to fall in love with every male that crosses my path. Let's go back to the facts at the top. Just because a boy has never kissed me doesn't mean you should feel sorry for me. Just because I've never had a real boyfriend doesn't make me a weirdo. These things used to really bother me, but they DON'T anymore. Honestly, it's kind of a blessing. Whoever I DO end up dating/marrying is going to seem (and be in real life) AWESOME because I won't have anything to compare him against. I don't have to worry about some other boy from the past "always having a piece of my heart" or "always having a special place in my heart". I don't want, and I'm sure my husband won't either, some other guy to have ANY place in my heart, much less a special one. I want the man I end up with to have my whole heart. And he will, thanks. Does it sometimes suck to be the token single girl in my hometown where just about everyone that I am friends with is married, engaged, or seriously dating? Yep. Does it mean I want you to feel sorry for me? Nope.
Fact #7 (just for fun) - I caught 4 bouquets in a row one wedding season. Obviously that myth just got debunked.
Fact #1 - I have never kissed a boy.
Fact #2 - I am ok with fact #1.
Fact #3 - I have never had a real boyfriend.
Fact #4 - I've never been officially asked out on a date. (I've been on hangouts that turned out to be dates - in my book, at least - but no one's ever said, "Hey, let me take you out to dinner MC.")
Fact #5 - I'm 28.
Fact #6 - Facts 1 through 5 don't automatically put me in the desperation category.
2 stories:
There was a girl that we were all friends with in Wilmington that we categorized as being "on the hunt". Sweet, sweet girl, but desperate for a man in her life. Everything she did revolved around finding a husband, preparing for a husband, etc. She is now happily married (you go girl!) and no longer needs to be on the hunt. (option 1)
There was a girl that worked at the school I teach at before I moved there who was "older" (not really that much older than I am now) and single. People say that everyone thought she was a lesbian because she was single and older. She's also now happily married - to a man. (option 2)
I tell you these stories because I sometimes wonder if people think one (or both) of these things about me. I would like to think that option 2 isn't discussed by people that know me well, because I often talk about guys that I think are good looking. I joke about multiple "so-and-so's" being my future husband. I HOPE that people don't think I'm option 2 just because I'm 28 and not dating anyone. If someone was interested, I might be as well! No one has shown any interest. That's not a plea for pity.
That being said, let's talk about option 1. As I said, I'm 28 and not dating anyone. This statement does NOT make me on the hunt. I am not begging my friends to set me up with people, and I don't secretly try to envision a future together with every guy I meet. Yes, there are guys that I would totally date if they asked, and I have sort of jokingly said to mutual friends, "Hook a sista up!" but that's not quite the same. I feel like I don't have a whole lot of argument to back up my "I'm not on the hunt" statement than to just say it, and hope you believe me.
This post is not going quite how I had it planned out, but whatever. The point is that every time I meet, say hey to, or even look at a guy who's single, that doesn't mean I'm automatically interested. I am not the girl who's going to fall in love with every male that crosses my path. Let's go back to the facts at the top. Just because a boy has never kissed me doesn't mean you should feel sorry for me. Just because I've never had a real boyfriend doesn't make me a weirdo. These things used to really bother me, but they DON'T anymore. Honestly, it's kind of a blessing. Whoever I DO end up dating/marrying is going to seem (and be in real life) AWESOME because I won't have anything to compare him against. I don't have to worry about some other boy from the past "always having a piece of my heart" or "always having a special place in my heart". I don't want, and I'm sure my husband won't either, some other guy to have ANY place in my heart, much less a special one. I want the man I end up with to have my whole heart. And he will, thanks. Does it sometimes suck to be the token single girl in my hometown where just about everyone that I am friends with is married, engaged, or seriously dating? Yep. Does it mean I want you to feel sorry for me? Nope.
Fact #7 (just for fun) - I caught 4 bouquets in a row one wedding season. Obviously that myth just got debunked.
Hey sweet girl! Thanks for sharing your truth and your heart. I hear you on this! Everything you said is so admirable! I hope it inspires other girls/women not to rush their first kiss or lower their standards in order to go on a date. I KNOW the Lord has someone GOOD for you -- someone HOT and FUNNY! Maybe you should just move to Nashville :) ??? <3 to you, Ginny
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